Sunday, January 4, 2009

Where are My Mary Janes?

Para usted, mi amigo... No Zegna suit yet, but a pair of Canali trousers... and found a pair of Zegna trousers on sale a few days after Christmas. We're working our way there.

Jack glances at the Men’s Dept., sighs and gives Kate a nod. She takes off with the kids...and then he sees it...
...the Zegna section. He’s drawn to the neat rows of beautiful suits like a moth to the light... He approaches the rack, pulls out a dark green suit, gently touching the soft wool.
SALESMAN (O.S.) It’s perfect for your frame...
Jack turns and sees a SALESMAN standing behind him.
SALESMAN Would you like to try it on?

CUT TO: 63 INT. MACY’S MEN’S DEPT. - A LITTLE LATER
Jack, at a mirror wearing the Zegna suit. It is perfect for his frame. The color is spectacular, the line is dazzling. Jack looks in the mirror, shutting everything else out... it’s like he’s seeing his old self...
KATE (O.S.) You look amazing in that suit...
Jack snaps out of his trance. He sees Kate standing behind him, Annie and Josh happily playing a few feet away.
KATE I mean...wow...off the charts great.
JACK It’s an unbelievable thing. Wearing this suit actually makes me feel like a better person. (taking one final look) I’m gonna buy it...
Kate raises an eyebrow, then looks at the price tag.
KATE $2,400?! Are you out of your mind?
JACK (pointing to Annie’s new Mary Janes) She got those shoes... KATE Those shoes were twenty-five dollars. C’mon, take it off. We’ll go to the food court and get one of those funnel cakes you like.
Jack looks at her...it’s a moment of decision.
JACK No.
Kate looks at Jack, a little surprised.
KATE No?
JACK Do you have any idea what my life is like?
KATE Excuse me?
JACK I wake up in the morning covered in dog saliva...I drop the kids off, spend eight hours selling tires retail...retail, Kate.
Kate just stands here, aghast...
JACK (CONT’D) I pick up the kids, walk the dog, which by the way, carries the added bonus of carting away her monstrous crap...I play with the kids, take out the garbage, get six hours of sleep if I’m lucky, and then it starts all over again...and why is it that I always have to drive everyone everywhere? I spend practically my entire day in that slow as hell mini-van listening to Raffi tapes and trying to figure out how the cup holders work...I’m sick of it. KATE Really.
JACK What’s in it for me? Where are my Mary Janes?

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